Love Dare Day 18: April 6, 2020
Do we really know our mate or do we just think we know?
What is Day 18 about:
This chapter focuses on whether or not we truly understand the person we are in love with.
What I think about the material:
Have you ever been in a conversation and thought to yourself, “I could say anything and the other person would not even hear me.”
I can’t speak for women, but as a man and a natural problem solver it is incredibly challenging to listen to understand. Not that I struggle with listening. In fact, I often receive complements on how good of a listener I am.
The overwhelming thoughts that run through my mind when Jess is talking is often too loud to hear the true meaning behind what she says. When she presents a problem, my natural inclination is not to understand what she is saying, but to come up with as many solutions as I can.
This chapter deals with a similar problem and its challenge puts my weakness on point. We are called to do more than listen, but to know. To understand what our mate is communicating each day.
Several years ago, I read a phenomenal book, Wild at Heart by John Eldredge. The book is on why men lose focus on their mate after marriage. This point is brought up often. In the beginning of our relationship, men are good at trying to figure everything there is to know about our mate.
However, once we think we know everything, we stop pursuing our loved one. But as a species, we are ever evolving so soon, we no longer know the person we are married to.
My task and how did I perform the task:
For this challenge, I had to separate the purpose of the dare and the actual dare. The dare is to cook dinner for your spouse and then have a conversation and practice really listening to understand.
Well, in my household, I cook all the meals so that really didn’t work for me. Instead, I listened intently to each conversation of the day with the purpose of understanding and not just listening.
Jessica’s reaction:
No visible reaction from Jess. I am not surprised. I am curious if she tells me more things in the future as my changed way of listening.
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