Who is driving your bus? You or the passengers?
This day’s chapter is all about fighting fair. The voices in my head do not fight fair and since this is a SELF-Love Dare, today I focus on the cowardly voices echoing my chamber. It is happening right now. Most days, I take my oldest son to a coffee shop so he can focus on online school and I focus on writing. With smaller children running around the house, it is hard to get 5 minutes without interruptions; so we seclude ourselves. This morning I made a poor choice.
Since our errands of the day are earlier than normal, I opted out of the off-campus escape with Evan. Instead, I chose to get at least one post finished from home. 3 interruptions later, I lose my patience with Emily and snap at her. Queue the internal dialogue of failure. In counseling, we discuss the internal voices like passengers on a bus where you are the driver. Passengers have a voice, but no authority. No matter how loud the voices, I still have control of the bus. Today I am still learning to quiet the voices.
It’s like seeing the trees, but losing the forest
The challenge for today is to set boundaries with your loved one, or yourself so that when there is a fight, we are fighting fair. The problem with this challenge is that I don’t have control over the voices, or do I! Maybe that is the point my counselor is trying to make. Initially reading this dare I thought that this is an impossible task. Then I realize that that voice is an example of one that I need to set boundaries. Here are my rules:
- All voices must allow at least 10 seconds before negating a positive thought or action.
- Any conversation in my head must end with “but you go ahead and make the best decision.”
- Guilt-provoking voices are allowed to speak, but are only allowed one negative point.
- If the voice isn’t willing to be spoken out loud, then it is not allowed to be spoken internally.
- I am the master of my decisions, not the voices riding my bus.
Controlling the voices is not meant for just today
Today I learn that while I am in control of my own actions and thoughts, quieting those voices is a marathon. I prefer sprinting, but a marathon it is.
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