The Love Dare

She’s Not Getting Away With It

 October 17, 2020

By  Jonathan Biles

Love Dare Day 25: April 13, 2020

What is Day 25 about:

A hard feeling to fight every time I think about forgiveness is that I think that the person who has wronged me is getting away with it. Day 25 is all about forgiveness.

What do I think about the material:

The first four words in this chapter is, “This one is tough.” I am not sure I want to continue reading. But, from the title and my life I know that the topic of forgiveness is not an easy one.

It is part of our human nature to want to see justice. Look at our judicial system. The entire foundation of this system is to punish those who have wronged others. While I know there are flaws in our system, I still believe we need one.

But what about in our marriage? Do we need a judicial system to ensure our spouse isn’t getting away with it when he or she wrongs us? Kind of a funny thought when you sit down and picture it.

Your wife insults you or undermines you in front of the kids, so you call up your attorney and set up a living room court date. Good luck finding twelve jurors of your peers who would be willing to sit that out.

But seriously, what then are we supposed to do when our spouse, the one who vowed to love us, cuts us incredibly deep? God’s answer in Matthew is to never stop forgiving. Fear not, he created us that forgiving someone is actually beneficial.

When we forgive, we have not absolved the person of consequence to their actions. God will handle the punishment as he sees fit. Taking the burden off our shoulders instead of dealing out the consequences is our result.

We are not called to forgive someone of their wrong doing and allow them to do it again. Instead, we are to forgive them and give God the trust to handle their heart. After all, isn’t that what it all comes down to anyway? When people do wrong it is due to a heart condition, not a you condition.

The chapter concludes with a great statement on how you know when you have truly forgiven someone. It says that you know they are forgiven in your heart when you can look at them and your blood doesn’t boil.

My task and how did I perform the task:

There have been more times than I can count where I thought that if I forgive Jess, then she is getting away with it. In my own selfish nature to want to see her punished I have acted immaturely and held on to grudges. Guess what? It didn’t turn out very well.

Today’s challenge is to let it go. It challenges us to forgive our spouse for any wrong doing that we have held onto over the years or months. It doesn’t specifically say to go tell them as I think this might create tension.

Three years ago when I first read this chapter I was dealing with a storm that Jess and I were weathering. Only a few souls on this earth know what it is.

I spent hours in prayer over the next year to work on forgiving her and destroying the lie that she is getting away with it. I believe today, our marriage is the strongest it has ever been because of this.

Further, I am developing a habit of forgiving fast. The is challenging every single time. I am no expert at forgiving, but I know that the more I forgive, the better I feel. It may sound a little selfish, but forgiving Jess quickly has actually started to feel good.

Jessica’s reaction:

The only thing I can think towards her reaction is that I hope she can see that I don’t hold any grudges against her. She has told me that people have commented that from the outside I appear to be a doormat. But that comment doesn’t stress me out, because, well actually that is covered in tomorrow’s chapter.

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Jonathan Biles. Mentor and Founder of Triumph University Triumph and achieve peace

About the author 

Jonathan Biles

Jonathan Biles is a well-respected writer of fiction stories across the globe. He has worked with multiple publishing entities from print newspaper to Amazon Kindle. With a degree from The University of Idaho and print experience with Texas Tech University, he is sought after as a feature writer amongst his peer group. His readers rate him as a 5-star author and has won awards from Columbia University. As an author, he can transport you from daily chaos to worlds and adventures sure to entertain through his vivid imagery.

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