Would you rather be in a room with positive people or negative people?
Strictly from a literary perspective, this is one of my favorite days in The Love Dare. The imagery Kendrick paints in this chapter hits home with me each time I read the chapter. The author sets the scene by describing 2 rooms. Each is very similar in design and construction, with the only difference in wall decor.
In the first, which he calls the Appreciation Room, the walls of positive words that you would use to describe your mate decorate the walls. (I guess for my challenge they should describe me). The next, the Depreciation Room, boasts a decor is counter to its twin room. In contrast to the Appreciation Room, the Depreciation Room displays negative character traits. Kendrick says that with each day and each engagement with another person, we must enter one of the two rooms. The better the relationship, the easier it is to pick the Appreciation Room.
That room, however, is not an easy one to go into when the waves are crashing over the bow. It is vitally important to enter that room instead of its evil twin the Depreciation Room. With each attempt, we train our brain to go to that room before we respond to a situation. Surrounding yourself with words of affirmation makes it difficult to stay angry.
One note; everyone must have 2 rooms. Nobody on this earth is perfect and it is ignorant to completely ignore the faults of others. We must acknowledge the good and bad in people, but choose to remember their good when their bad boils to the surface.
I think I only give myself one choice
I need to read that last section over and over again to remind myself of two things. First, a good room exists for me and I have good character traits to be plaster all over the walls. Right now my Appreciation Room looks like a brand new home freshly painted and not yet moved into. Secondly, while I am very aware of my Depreciation Room, I have the freedom and capability of leaving that room. Further, I have the capability of not entering that room when things go south.
For me, that room is my default, but I will stay true to today’s challenge to make a good and bad list of character traits people use to define me…I will not share the bad traits here though.
- I am “dad” funny.
- My heart aches when I see other mistreated.
- I will fight anyone and anything for the safety of my family.
- Circumstances have proven my previous point true.
- I am a great listener.
- Problem solving is high on my list of talents.
Yes, I actually learned something
I am very frustrated by the outcome of this day’s challenge. I look at my previously entered journal notes for this challenge and each time coming up with a positive list for Jess is easy and a negative list is hard. For myself, the opposite was true. The list I post above took me way longer to compile than the massive list of negative traits I manifested.
This tells me that what my therapist is true. I am not a kind person to myself. The challenge says to keep these lists handy for another day. I know what that means and I am honestly not looking forward to that day. I only pray I have the strength to follow through with that dare.
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