It has been a while since I talked about why I left Corporate America to pursue a passion I once thought was lost. Uprising challenges tell me to share again. This weekend we experienced disappointing parental problems, struggles with a healthy diet, broken expensive equipment, smoking vehicles, mice at play, haunting nightmares, broken sewage lines, a dead chicken, a thieving dog, a lightening strike, a power outage, faulty water pump, piling chores, cold weather, and a threat from the past.
Yes, that was all in two days. In the mean time, I hear this voice in my head, “If you hadn’t quit SEL, you would have money to handle all these problems.” I hang my head in agreement while I obsessively check my bank account as if I increase the balance the more times I look.
Let me lay it out in the open
Honesty time. As Jess and I talked about me leaving my 7 year stable job, I was shaking in my boots. I believe in my purpose and my ability to pursue that purpose, but the illusion of control still haunts me. Over the past year, God has taken care of our family despite my stumbling decisions. This weekend was just one of many that we’ve endured over the past year during this passion pursuit.
Each time, we have learned a new lesson and have become stronger because of it. No, it is not all doom and gloom, but isn’t that where our mind likes to go? Weird isn’t it. I so easily forget the times we are taken care of, or the friends who reach out unexpectedly. This weekend is not a story of destruction, but a story of focus and direction.
So how do I continue to pursue?
That is the question I am asking myself this morning. My analytical mind knows how much money my family needs to survive. The statistical knowledge I have tells me that 13% of my website traffic leads to affiliate links which convert at 2% so if I can drive 500 visitors per day to my website then my family is financially stable. No, we aren’t well off, but stable. The more I blog, the more traffic I drive. Logic says blog 24/7. God says that is not your purpose to pursue.
Hebrews chapter 12 hit hard for me this morning as I read. The author talks about how we understand the correction of our earthly fathers, but question the correction of our Heavenly Father. Take a moment and read that chapter. Versus 12-21 give us how we are supposed to take that correction. Today, I will take that advice. I will lift up my hands, focus and make my path straight, let my pain be healed, follow peace and holiness, look diligently to God, and avoid fornication or profane people. Continue down this path, I will continue.
I will pursue.
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