But maybe being thoughtful is what I am missing
In my notes for the Love Dare that I wrote years ago, I mentioned that being thoughtful for Jess is actually quite easy. I’ll even bet that at times, I annoy Jess with my over concern about how she is feeling. I mean seriously, I ask her everything from is her coffee hot enough to are the kids annoying her?
But you know what I don’t do?
I don’t ask myself the same questions. The book says, “Great marriages come from great thinking.” If that is true, then a great relationship with myself can also generate if I think greatly about myself. This is definitely a challenge. Like I mentioned in a previous day’s post, the way I talk and think about myself is not the greatest.
I do agree. As I work through my PTSD, I learn that our minds are incredibly powerful. Books like Think and Grow Rich are no joke. The more we understand and control our thinking, the better our lives are. So for today, I will put into practice the same thoughtfulness I have towards my wife and be more thoughtful to myself. Here we go!
How did my day go? Let me think about it
UGH! This challenge is the absolute worse!
Okay, maybe that is an exaggeration, but thinking about myself is more of a challenge than I thought it would be. I struggle because most of my life I fight against selfishness. Therefore, when I start thinking about myself, a little voice inside my head fights those thoughts with furver.
I can’t specifically think of a time where I thought of myself first, but in general I know it was on my mind. One example that I know I succeeded at was in our counseling session. Jess and I met together this week and it forced me to focus on myself.
What did I learn
The past 24 hours taught me that being thoughtful about oneself doesn’t necessarily mean selfishness, but it means that I value myself as well. For example, let’s say I am walking downtown with Jess and I see a person step in a puddle that Jess is not aware of. There are two thoughts that immediately go through my mind. Both keep Jess and I with dry socks. Now is it selfish of me to think about my feet?
No, it is ok to like my own feet. When I think of my own needs it doesn’t make me selfish. What would make me selfish is to see the puddle, avoid the puddle, and not say anything to her. I believe this is what Jesus meant when he said in Matthew 22:39, “…love your neighbor as yourself.”
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