Love Dare Day 5: March 22, 2020
As I stated in an earlier post, keeping the fact that I am going through “The Love Dare” a secret with the spouse is a challenge. Love is not rude is often on my mind. Especially as the days go on, she becomes suspicious of the changes. This day in the past has shown as a giveaway that I am up to something.
What is Day 5 about:
Love is not rude.
I couldn’t agree more. This is the number one themed problem in our house with our children. We constantly point out how they are being rude to each other and it is counterproductive to loving someone.
What do I think about the material:
The chapter started off with a pretty good dagger. It goes on to show us how in our home, our safe space, we feel the freedom to walk around with a sour puss look on our face and take our mood out on our loved ones. However, the minute we step foot into public, we put a mask on and pretend all is well.
Now we could write a whole book on that act of pretension alone, but I know I am guilty of it.
Why do we do that?
Why do we give our family the worst and give the best, even if it’s fake, to the rest of the world?
This chapter boils down rudeness to two root causes; ignorance and self-centeredness. I find this interesting because once we learn how to treat people, then what is stopping us from doing so?
The chapter ends with three guiding principles when it comes to etiquette in marriage:
- Practice the Golden Rule.
- Treat your partner the same way you treat strangers.
- Consider the question already asked. If there is something you know your partner wants you to start or stop doing, but they won’t say it out loud, assume they already have and make it happen.
What was my task and how did I perform the task:
Last year this is the day that gave it away. I must boast that this time around I completed this task without revealing my true purpose.
Today’s task is to find out three things that your partner finds irritating or uncomfortable about your actions. (Last year she had 6) If I believe love is not rude, do you think rudeness will be on my list.
What was Jessica’s reaction:
This year I knew the list even before she said it. There are three things in my life that are very closely related and when one rears its ugly head, the next two usually follow.
Times for my family have been tough and good at the same time. It has been interesting to look at our family every single day and see the beautiful growth in each one of us.
As I am sure you know, with growth comes pain. The more we improve our lives, the more we realize we have a lot more work to do. I am no exception to the rule.
- Getting mad at the kids.
Now I don’t don’t do these things everyday and one might even say it is not a large part of my personality, but it is a very damaging one and I work hard every day to improve.
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