Love Dare Day 27: April 16, 2020
Jessica and I are working hard these days to build our own businesses, so yesterday we took a day off.
What is Day 27 about:
You and your significant other are human beings. Sounds like an obvious statement, but often times we have unrealistic expectations about our better half. At times, we also express those expectations in a way that will destroy our relationship.
Today’s chapter is about encouragement.
What do I think about the material:
One the best things Jessica and I did before getting married was to go to pre-marital counseling. Regardless of your faith, we highly recommend this process. We chose to elect the pastor of our church as our counselor.
The biggest lesson I learned from our sessions was that our expectations should be realistic and not fanciful. As a new couple, we were in the honeymoon phase of our relationship and that was a challenge to see past.
But what I learned not only drew me closer to Jess, but helps me every day of our marriage. I did not get into our relationship with a hard-fast idea of her responsibilities as a wife. The world spends quite a bit of time shaping our minds and it is incredibly important to see your mate for who she really is.
I digress. This chapter is more about not being hard with your spouse when your expectations are not met. Whether it is about the kitchen, kids, or the bedroom an expectation not met will create an inner battle that must not rear its ugly head.
The book makes the statement that it is a rare trait that a person can positively process criticism joyfully. I interpret this to say that when you have an issue that you want to address to your loved one, it must be done out of love. Not selfish desire.
We must find ways to encourage our spouse to help fill our desires. Let’s say for example you think the kitchen should be clean every night before bed. In the beginning of your relationship she filled this expectation, but as the years progress, the kitchen sits dirty.
Instead of going to your mate and telling them they have failed you, clean it yourself. I promise you, she will notice. Then, when she asks why you clean it every night you can tell her that you sleep better knowing the kitchen is clean.
She then has the power to make the choice on her own to take that task from you to show you love or to let you keep going. You could even turn it into an opportunity to connect with them. This could have an alternative affect that can help you later. If you know what I mean.
My task and how did I perform the task:
Today’s task is to eliminate the poison of unrealistic expectations. We are to think of an area or two that we are too hard on our spouse and tell them we are sorry for it. Additionally, we are to praise them for something positive and assure them of our unconditional love.
Money is our biggest struggle in our relationship. We both have different expectations on how each person should handle discussing the budget and money spending decisions.
For years we try to talk about money, but it always leads to stress. I want to have perfect spreadsheets that she can look at anytime and she wants questions answered when she has them without looking at a spreadsheet or app.
I think we may have finally found our sweet spot yesterday. We sat down in a comfy situation and on a blank page with her watching, I wrote out our budget. This is not an ideal way for me to do things, but at the end, her questions were answered and we were not stressed out. Team Biles for the win. Funny thing too, it wasn’t hard at all.
Have you ever wanted to be a copywriter or looking for a side-hustle? Check out Nicki’s page. She got me started down this amazing journey.
Satisfaction in the bedroom is one of the most important components of a happy life. If you’re feeling stuck or looking for the next adventure. Check out Jessica B. and her lotions, potions and things that go buzz in the night!
Curious what I do on my free time when I am not writing?
Check out my business’ home page: CCSE