I get angry, I yell, I cuss, I drink too much, I lose my patience, I don’t always finish projects, I do selfish things; yes I am just as flawed as the rest of our species. Even today, with this blog post, I missed my deadline and I am struggling to get the words out.
Why admit to being flawed?
For the first 30 plus years of my life, well what of it I can remember, I struggled with the fear of not being accepted. One particular memory has stuck, with me for 27 years.
My family just relocated to San Antonio, Texas and for the first time I was to attend a public middle school. The previous four years, we were in Marietta, Georgia where we went to a small private school that had an average graduating class of 12.
This was also the first time I would have the pleasure of suffering through the typical middle school angst of a boys locker room. Yes, ladies, the rumors are true, a boys locker room is full of hormone driven immature teens looking for the next victim. On this particular day, I was unanimously selected.
At that age, we were all going through different stages of puberty and I hadn’t had the privilege of my voice changing. Some boys around me were already talking like their fathers where I would be mistaken as my mother on the phone.
A group of boys came up to my gym locker after a vigorous game of dodgeball and greeted me with smiles and welcomes to the school. Not knowing what to do or say, I simply greeted them back and excused myself from the group. The second my mouth opened the boys warm greetings turned to cold insults. “Wow,” one of the boys spoke out. “I hope your voice has already changed, cause you sound like a lumberjack already!”
No, my voice hadn’t changed. The other boys chimed in with their own version of insults that echoed the first. One even checked my face to see if I was starting to grow a beard. That moment is one of many that has created this desire of mine to fit in with the crowd and not stand out.
Designed to stand out
God, however, had different plans for me. I came to a realization in the past few years that God didn’t create me to fit in with the crowd. The many flaws that I have make me unique to his purpose. Just this morning, one of my personal experiences was used to help someone with their life.
That experience is not one that I am particularly proud of, but has shaped me into the man I am. The next time I am going through a situation I typically would get frustrated with, I am going to try to remember that I am uniquely flawed and this experience can help someone else down the road.
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