“Excuse me sir, do you know how fast you were going?”
I reply with a stare to the ground while my anxiety levels want to shout to the mountain tops, “Yes, sir, but my ex-wife is trying to kidnap my daughter!”
That story is just one of many where I fought for years to protect my oldest daughter. Her biological mother, who I will refer to as Voldemort, spent most of her time abusing the people around her. Neither myself or Ciena was immune to her abuse, so I fought for her protection.
It has now been over 5 years since I spoke to her on the phone. And almost 10 years since Ciena has spoken to this woman. Recently, I received a phone call from Whitman County’s Sheriff Office. They said Voldemort called them asking for them to perform a wellness check. They attempted to call me before coming out to the house, but I missed the call.
During that time, the officer did some digging and remembered the insanity she created in their office 5 years ago. When they finally got a hold of me he apologized for the intrusion and wouldn’t bother us in the future. They would “handle her” from their end.
Please excuse me for my rant
I am not a mother nor have I abused a person in my life. Putting myself in her shoes is incredibly difficult. When I am trying to understand a person’s behavior, I try to put myself in their shoes. Why would a 41-year-old woman attempt to create this chaos to an 18-year-old girl that she hasn’t seen in a decade?
I can only assume that it has to do with control. I know from Google searches that she has been in and out of jail for minor violations to assault with a deadly weapon. I hardly doubt her life is in great order. Is she grasping for straws to get some sort of control in her life?
Does the scar ever heal?
Since so much time has passed since I had to deal with Voldemort, I assumed I healed from the scars. Sadly, that assumption is completely founded on bad information. Neither my wife or kids know that the level of stress and anxiety that welled up when the officer identified himself was equal to the scene in my intro.
We recently dealt with a situation that many parents of children with disabilities have dealt with and it made me question so many decisions. That phone call, however, reinforced that the fight was necessary. The fight that we fought for years was worth it because we protected Ciena from a violent and manipulative person.
The scars may not have healed, but they represent a battle that I won. They represent a saved life and a lovely human being. Ciena’s choices and behaviors may not be what every parent wants to deal with, but in the end, her love and the fact that she is God’s child means Voldemort will never touch her until the day I die.
Do you have a similar story? I would love to hear about it and help you change the scars from a bad memory to a proud monument. Send me a message and let’s get connected.
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