Before we decide how you should find a mentor, let’s first look at understanding why we need a mentor. In yesterday’s post we talked about taking on some character traits from your father. Good or bad, we end up with a trait or two, but what about those characteristics of your personality that you want, but your parents did not supply?
Take a breath, this is not as difficult as it sounds. The first step in understanding how to find a mentor is to first understand what it is you are looking for. If you don’t know what you want, you will get what you don’t want. For example. I want to be a successful entrepreneur. This takes a daily practice of showing up when you don’t have a boss. I don’t necessarily need a mentor that is an entrepreneur, but a person who is proficient at daily practices.
At a first glance, I think that I need someone who shares all the same experiences as me and then I model my life after them. Sorry guys, this isn’t mentorship. If we want to be duplicate copies of another person, we must spend every waking moment with them. I don’t recommend that today. In the end, we won’t be uniquely us with additional skills. Instead, we will lose ourselves.
Jesus the mentor
Let’s think about Jesus as our example. We see in the Bible that Jesus mentored his disciples to be like him. No matter how hard they try, they always fall short. As we know, this is because Jesus is perfect. Your mentor will not be perfect. Sorry to all the men out there currently mentoring. The simple fact is that if we chose a human being to be our guide, then we must take the lessons with a grain of salt.
When you get going with a mentor, you’ll understand. My mentor, for example, makes sure when we get together that he vents a little to me. The first time he did this, I was taken back. Aren’t you supposed to be the one listening? Seriously though. I had no idea that mentoring is supposed to be a two-way street.
Jason, do you have a mentor?
Funny story, I am glad you asked if I have a mentor or not. I do not.
Let me go ahead and answer your follow-up question. No, I don’t have a mentor and it is because no mentors will ask me to follow them. I am not being picky either.
Last week after Sunday service, I walked up to a group of old men. Only white hair among them and the youngest one is at least twice my age. Can you believe it? I stood there listening to their conversations, with an introduction here and there, for almost 15 minutes, and not one of them asks me to follow them. At that age, isn’t it a requirement to have a mentee of sorts? Regardless, it is very frustrating.
I feel like the normal girl waiting to get asked out on a date. You know an invitation is coming, but the wait is excruciating. Even though that didn’t work last week, maybe if I stand in enough conversations then eventually, I will have a mentor. But until then, it looks like I’ve got to do everything by my own wits.
Mentors are often older than you.
So stand up! They may not see you. Look, here is the bottom line. Mentors and non-mentors alike cannot read your mind. I know how sad this is, but if you are not willing to ask someone to hang out with you and share their knowledge, then do you really deserve that knowledge? Maybe God is trying to tell you that you must learn the lesson yourself.
That is the thought I want to leave you with. We often pray and think we don’t get the answers. Sometimes we may ask for a mentor to help us wake up each morning when we just need to muster up a little bit more strength. Analyze your life and find out where you really want a mentor. If you need help, sign up for a free call with me and let me help you guide your path to a mentor and then Triumph and achieve peace.
List of Steps
What do you want to improve?
Why are you not successful at this now?
Ask yourself why a few more times to make sure you are at the root cause.
Keep your eyes open for men who have mastered your challenges.
Don’t be afraid.
“Hi, I noticed you are really good at (XYZ) and I am terrible at it. Do you think you could help me out?”
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